"I love this story. I love how original it is. It's really complex
and the world building is incredible. Your editing is perfect; you could
self-publish this tomorrow and it's ready to go. All of the changes you made have elevated this story and really tightened every storyline and character."
Followed by an offer for us to speak on the phone. Which we did for almost an hour! And then ultimately, a pass. In all fairness, she passed before we spoke on the phone but offered to speak to me anyway because (I assume), she loved the story so much that she wanted to connect with me and offer insight into her pass, as well as encouragement to keep going. I won't give the name of said agent as I am not sure if I am at liberty to, but she was real and from a legit literary agency.
So what makes an agent pass on a book they really loved?
Because my book is controversial.
For starters, aren't all the good books?
Forgive the cheek there. It wasn't exactly that my book is controversial, but it does touch on the subjects of date rape, teen pregnancy and abortion. Now, it is not a contemporary teen "issue" novel. It is a YA Fantasy/Steampunk novel; however, it does have these elements present. This agent explained to me that she's had clients in the past with excellent books that she couldn't sell because the Big U.S. Publishing Houses shy away from these subjects. Therefore, being unsure of her ability to sell my novel, she declined to offer representation.
When we spoke on the phone, she did shed some light on the subject for me. Naive, young writer that I am, I wondered, "Why can't you offer representation, and even if you don't sell my book, keep me as a client and work with me to sell my next book?"
And she could. She definitely could and some agencies do. However, she said its more beneficial to be un-agented, than to be with an agent that cannot sell your book and has been sitting on it for 12-18 months +. Why? Because if you ever leave that agent and try to sign with a new one, unless you already have sales or a strong platform in place, all the new agent sees is: POTENTIAL PROBLEM.
They have red flags pop up as they wonder, well, why couldn't she sell her project with her last agent? Either, the writer is the problem or the project is the problem. And a busy literary agent wants nothing to do with these potential problems so many of them simply toss the submission in their slush and don't look back.
Wow, eye-opening. I had no idea. So, lesson learned and in reality, she is doing me a favor if she really believes she'll have trouble selling the book no matter how much she personally loved it.
But here's my only confusion: isn't controversial popular? So popular! Our teens are watching Game of Thrones and Westworld! They are already dealing with some of these issues and MORE and WORSE than what's discussed in the novel. And what's more, these issues are touched on, but not the focal point of the novel. So it's a bit difficult for me to accept that it might be declined because of its difficult subject matter if that matter is dealt with respectfully and the story is compelling. I'd almost think it was a point in the novel's favor if it is a bit controversial, though this certainly wasn't my intent when I wrote it. I just wrote the story that was inside me.
So, I sit here and waffle about with where to go from here. I do have two other works in progress that I love and can't wait to go forward with. If I could get one of those off the ground, magically be offered representation, sell the book and then have the freedom to publish something a bit controversial AFTER I have a fan-base, then this is one possibility. Possibility number 2 is self-publishing.
The agent told me I could self-pub tomorrow. Obviously, it would need one last edit, formatting, cover art, etc etc. before it was ready, but the idea being, the novel is good enough to see the light of day. I had never considered self-pub an option. Not because I am intimidated by learning the new technology or being caught up in the "business' side of writing rather than the creative portion, but because I wanted validation.
I craved it!
I wanted to walk into a Chapters and see my book physically on a shelf. To have someone at the top professional level to see my talent, work with me to improve it and then produce something that I created that people are willing to buy. What an amazing compliment. What justification! That all those years were not wasted, all the writing books, writing courses, first drafts, 23rd drafts... all of it... never mind the "you're a writer?" looks you get from people when asked what your day job is.
All of that worth it when you can say: they picked me! Out of thousands, they picked me!
Now I am sitting here, asking myself, do I still need that? Does it matter? Does it count if you self-pub and somehow go viral? Or have just enough to comfortably make a living? At what point, have I achieved "success"? It's an interesting conundrum and something I don't have the answer to just yet.
Will keep you all updated if and when I do. Because that will probably dictate whether or not it'll be followed by a plug for my all new novel available on Kindle!...
